Otprilike u desetoj godini života, kod našeg susjeda (vinara), počeo sam piti alkohol, jer sam htio pripadati tom društvu. S 13 godina, unatoč zabrani mojih roditelja, dnevno sam pio bocu vina. Kao vojnik patio sam od usamljenosti i neshvaćenosti, često sam se opijao do besvjesti i htio sam počiniti samoubojstvo. S 23 godine dnevno sam konzumirao deset boca piva i bocu vina. Povoda je bilo dosta: pijenje za okladu, mjesne zabave, izlasci i druženja.
Kao vojnik počeo sam pušiti i marihuanu. Od 25. godine tjedno i do 20 grama – oko 10 do 20 jointa dnevno. Povremeno sam ušmrkavao heroin, uzimao kokain i LSD. Između 25. i 33. godine života tri puta mi je policija oduzimala vozačka dozvola. Unatoč tomu, nisam se mogao osloboditi alkohola. Nikada nisam zatražio lječničku pomoć i htio sam to postići sam, ali bez alkohola i droga mogao sam izdržati najviše 4 tjedna.
Krajem rujna 2004. godine uveden sam u Učenje Brune Gröninga i redovito sam primao Heilstrom. U početku se moje konzumiranje jedva promijenilo, ali sam se i dalje intenzivno bavio Učenjem Brune Gröninga. Ipak, početkom svibnja 2005. godine preko noći mi je nestala potreba za drogama i alkoholom. Nisam imao apstinencijske simptome, samo u početku povećanu potrebu za snom. Otkad sam oslobođen od ovisnosti mogu bezbrižno voziti auto. Ponovno imam samopouzdanje, ciljeve i želju za radom. Ponovno mi se vratila životna radost.
At age 16, I smoked two to three joints on the weekends. About a year later, I was already using hashish and marijuana daily. I thought I would miss something if I didn’t smoke with the others. I moved into a shared flat. Then I didn’t feel like working anymore. Daily, we talked rubbish, played play-station, watched videos and smoked pot on the side. All our money was spent on drugs; from the beginning of 1998, one to two pills of ecstasy and one to two tabs of acid per night. From summer 1998, I was using speed in the mornings to wake up. If available, I also used cocaine and crack. My hashish use increased significantly to 2 g per day. I lost more and more weight, was aggressive and listless and felt as though burnt out. I saw myself as physically and psychologically dependent, but it actually didn’t interest me much.
In October 1998, I got myself introduced into the teaching of Bruno Gröning out of curiosity. I visited the community hours irregularly. Beginning of 1999, I hardly went to parties anymore; thereby the ecstasy and acid fell away. The need for loud music, lots of people and action had disappeared. Almost unnoticed, the drug use reduced itself. From summer 1999, I also downright forgot about speed and found a lovely job at the theater. On New Year’s Eve 1999, I smoked pot for the last time. Since then, I have been free from drugs once and for all. I also completely broke off contact with the old “friends”.
Since the age of 14 I drank alcohol from time to time; later on stopping only at the point before becoming nauseous. At the age of 16, when my girlfriend and I had broken off our relationship and my parents had divorced, I reached for hashish and within 3 years I was using up to 3 grams daily. Half a year later our gang introduced me to Speed. On the weekends I used as much as two or three lines. I tried LSD four or five times but stopped this after my second horror-trip. In January, 1994, I started using Ecstasy at techno-parties. Eventually I used up to three tablets per night. In August of the same year I became emotionally dependent on a boy who frightened me with esoteric death predictions and threatened me. In October, 1994, I managed on my own to stop using all drugs and to break away from my background. During this time of withdrawal I became very depressed, lived in mortal fear and had a persecution complex. I considered suicide.
A friend of my mother's told me about the teaching of Bruno Groening and in December, 1994, I was introduced. Immediately I felt love, serenity and contentment. I felt liberated. Depression and fear disappeared spontaneously after the introduction. Once more I became aware of myself, could mingle with other people and realized again that there was meaning in life.
In June, 1995, as a result of the wrong friends, I had a relapse: I returned to the use of hashish and drank alcohol daily. I resigned from my work and flew to Nepal. There I smoked 5 to 10 joints per day and used the ten-times stronger "hashish" as well.
In December, 1995, I went home. Since January, 1996, I resumed taking up the healing power and managed to stop the use of hashish, alcohol and cigarettes. Since then I've had no further desire for drugs. In the middle of 1996 I enrolled in night school and simultaneously started on an apprenticeship, which I completed successfully in February, 1997. I've made myself professionally independent and in May, 2001, I got married. Today, after 9 years, I am still free of all drugs.
Ever since I was 18, I smoked joints (tobacco mixed with marijuana or hashish). In the beginning I smoked occasionally and later regularly. This made me feel relaxed and indifferent and I thought that in this way I could handle the demands of the day better. I had trouble concentrating and constantly felt tired. I always had to have something to smoke at home. Also, I preferred partners who smoked joints as well. This made breaking away from the drug even harder. All up, I smoked marijuana or hashish on a regular basis for over 18 years.
Through my mother, I heard of the Bruno Gröning Circle of Friends and was introduced in October 2001. I could hardly imagine shedding my psychological dependency from hashish and marijuana just overnight. But I firmly believed that Bruno Gröning’s teaching would help me.
In spring 2002, I abruptly stopped smoking joints as well as normal cigarettes. I am fascinated by how easily the withdrawal from this longstanding addiction came to me.
Kad mi je bilo oko 17 godina popušila sam svoj prvi joint. Nakon pola godine konzumirala sam tri grama hašiša dnevno. Tada sam upoznavala sve više ljudi koji su uzimali droge. Uskoro sam redovito uzimala LSD-tripove, speed, kokain, halucinogene gljive, tablete (Lexotanil, Rohypnol) s alkoholom. Tako se to nastavilo sljedećih jedanaest godina. Kad sam imala 29 godina, suprug mi je poginuo u prometnoj nesreći. Od tada sam izgubila svaki oslonac u životu i više nisam bila sposobna obavljati redovni posao. Da bih ublažila duševnu bol i zaboravila, jutra sam započinjala špricom heroina. Slijedilo je šest najgorih godina moga života. Bez heroina više nisam bila sposobna ni za što. Nisam mogla ni jesti ni piti. Stanje je bilo tako loše, da sam željela još samo smrt. K tome su došli strahovi od policije, jer nije išlo bez trgovanja drogom. Prodala sam sve svoje vrijedne predmete i napravila velike dugove u banci. Sa svojom visinom od 168 cm smršavila sam na 45 kg i fizički izgledala kao olupina. Više puta sam išla u bolnicu na odvikavanje, ali nikada nisam uspjela izdržati tjelesno odvikavanje. Od svoje majke znam da je ona sve te godine molila za mene.
Na jednom Informativnom predavanju, 22. listopada 1998. godine, upoznala sam Učenje Brune Gröninga. Na tom predavanju bila sam sve, samo ne trijezna. Od te večeri do danas nisam više nikada uzela tvrde droge (npr. heroin).Nisam imala nikakve apstinencijske nuspojave. Prvih dana nisam na to ni mislila, a ni poslije nisam imala nikakve potrebe za tim. Nakon dva mjeseca izgubila sam i potrebu za hašišom. Opet imam normalnu tjelesnu težinu.
Danas, dok pišem ovaj izvještaj, skoro da ni sama ne mogu to vjerovati, kako se moj cijeli život promjenio. Od dvadeset takozvanih prijatelja droge, 1998. godine bilo je živo još samo pet osoba. Svako jutro se radujem jer još smijem živjeti.
Several physical afflictions made my life difficult. From the age of seven I suffered from pain when walking because of flat feet. Since 1990 I had a chronic cough and since 1992 I often had sinus headaches. Around that time a numb feeling in my left leg occurred when I was sitting down. In the beginning of 1996, difficulties when urinating because of an inflammation of the prostate were added to all that. Since 1992 I escaped into smoking marijuana about twice a week. Within two years I finally used this drug several times a day. I grew ever more depressed, was afraid of every day life and got aggressive. I thought about suicide.
In August, 1996, I was introduced to Bruno Groening's teaching. Right after that I could stop smoking marijuana. Once again I enjoy every day. The physical ailments have disappeared.
I began to smoke Marijuana at the age of 20. To be sure, I only smoked small amounts and with long intervals in between, for 10 years long only sporadically every few months. At the age of 38 the addiction became stronger and at times I smoked daily while the usage increased continuously up to 8 g per month, I often tried to stop but my will was not strong enough. My memory, my lungs, and my entire physical condition got worse and my marriage and my work also suffered increasingly from my addiction.
After seeing a TV program about Bruno Groening, I attended the information lecture on October 10, 1999, in Berlin-Steglitz.
Since then I attend the community hours and take up the healing power regularly. At the beginning of July, 2000, my longing for marijuana disappeared. Since then I have been free from the dependence and have not taken any to this day.
I was 12 years old when I started to drink alcohol and smoke hashish. At the age of 16 I smoked every 3rd day and by the time I turned 18 my habit was up to Â½ gram daily. I only worked occasionally. When I was 20 years old I stopped drinking alcohol and did hashish exclusively. Within 2 years my hashish consumption escalated to 10 grams daily. I vegetated from one day to the next and closed myself off from reality. I escaped from any unpleasant daily occurrences by hiding under the dome of fumes created by the drugs.
At the age of 22 I started to hallucinate. I was no longer able to differentiate between the real and the inner voices in my head and contemplated suicide. In my despair I decided to commit myself into a psychiatric clinic. There I had bad experiences with psycho-pharmaceuticals and requested to be discharged prematurely. Within the following 3 years my hashish consumption escalated again to 3 grams daily. I sank even deeper into despair when my girlfriend had an abortion against my will.A friend brought my attention to Bruno Groening Circle of Friends and my introduction took place in July, 2000
I continued to smoke 3 grams of marijuana daily and continued this way for another year. When I suddenly was no longer able to acquire the needed drug, to my great surprise I had no withdrawal symptoms. Even after 2 weeks of missing out on my supply I felt well. Now I finally found the will and the energy to stop using it. Since June, 2001, I am free from this addiction. I have started an apprenticeship. My will and energy that I had lost during the addiction has returned. .
In 1991 I started with hashish and via speed and LSD got into injecting heroin. I tried to get free of the drugs in 1995 because I was pregnant. Twice I tried to come off the drugs through out-patient programs, but these only helped temporarily. After my daughter was born I started to inject speed again. Renewed therapy attempts failed. I even got back into heroin and had to sell my body in order to finance my drug habit. From 1998 onwards I spent two and a half years in a methadone program, but I was still troubled by worries about the future, anxiety and depression. I was unable to form any normal social contacts. I felt that there was no point to my life. So I was unable to get off the drugs and once again took heroin.
In 2001 I got in contact with the Bruno Groening Circle of Friends via the internet, and shortly after that was introduced into the teaching and visited my first community hour. There I experienced a feeling of calm and peace and felt full of energy and hope. Since then my life has become good. During the following six months I was able to significantly reduce my hashish consumption. The depression disappeared. I have been totally free of all drugs since the end of 2001. I am in a happy relationship, have more time for my daughter and enjoy spending time with people. Life has meaning again. Now I know what it means to have joy in life.