Healing from very severe depression (PTSD)
R. Z. (43), Melbourne (Australia)
I was already depressed as a child. My father was often violent toward me. I was always very quiet and anxious, and I slept poorly. When I was nine years old I was molested. My family knew about it, but didn’t do anything to stop it. When I was 16 years old, I tried – unsuccessfully - to kill myself by taking an overdose of tablets. At school I failed in all subjects. That made me hate myself even more, and I believed I was good for nothing. When I was 18 I moved away from home. Starting at 22 I spent over four years in psychiatric treatment. I didn’t take any medication because of the side effects. My marriage broke up after three years, and the psychiatrist treating me told me he could do nothing more for me. I went through an odyssey of psychologists, psychiatrists, physicians, hospitals, spiritual healers and healing practitioners. Every childhood memory was accompanied by physical break down. I would hide and had severe panic attacks as if I were having a heart attack. Then I would lose consciousness for hours. I kept the doors locked and cried myself to sleep for years. The depression, anxiety and panic attacks simply became too severe, and in the year 2003 I was admitted to a psychiatric clinic. After tests I was put on medication (Cipramil, later Avanza = Mirtazepam) which also helped. I thought that everything was then all right, but there was still something in my soul that cried out loudly. In the year 2005, with the help of a psychiatrist, I tried to discontinue the medication. When I reduced the dose to one tablet (30 mg) the withdrawal symptoms began. I had fits of perspiration, pain, anxiety, trembling, nausea and claustrophobia. I decided to continue taking the medication. They prescribed sleeping pills and Valium against the withdrawal symptoms, but when I raised the dosage to 60 mg of Avanza again all the withdrawal symptoms stopped. That was a great disappointment for me because I then saw that I was very dependent on this medication. I had the feeling that I would spend the rest of my life in therapy and with doctors. The depression was so severe that I continued to cry a lot, had pain all over and wanted to end my life. The suicide was to take place on July 1, 2007.
In the end there is only God’s help
On Friday, June 29, 2007 I knelt down on a bridge in a busy part of Melbourne and asked God to help me. If I received no sign I was going to commit suicide on July 1, 2007. The next day a girlfriend who was unaware of my problems called me up. She asked whether we could meet for coffee and then told me of a film about a healer. I asked God to show me the right path and saw the film on July 1, 2007.
During the film “The Phenomenon Bruno Gröning” I had to cry. My heart was open, and I felt warmth and love. An eyewitness described in the film his healing from stomach cancer, and he spoke from salvation. That moved me profoundly. I felt the Heilstrom moving through my body. At the end of the film I was happy and felt the energy. At that point it still wasn’t clear to me that I had received the healing, but I was grateful that God had heard my prayers. I got better day by day. I did sports again. After awhile the medication even had a contrary effect when I took it; that is, I became depressive after taking it. After attending a conference of the Circle of Friends in Sydney in April of 2008, I got severe Regelungen, needed a lot more sleep and had headaches. After the Regelungen I no longer had depression or withdrawal symptoms. The anxiety and panic attacks had disappeared. I then attended the community hours regularly and since then have been doing einstellen to the Heilstrom twice a day. I was liberated and am now free from pain, dependence, treatment, doctors and the feeling of being tormented. I thank God and our friend Bruno Gröning that I have my life back.
Already in her youth Ms. Z. had developed a recurrent depressive disturbance with suicidal tendencies as well as a chronic posttraumatic disturbance with avoidance of bad memories and simultaneous flashbacks, disassociation, anxiety, jumpiness and sleep disturbances. Attempts with various psychotherapeutic and psychopharmacological treatments did not lead to an enduring improvement of her condition. A sudden change on the experiential and behavioral level after contact with the teaching of Bruno Gröning is from a psychological viewpoint not to be explained and is very extraordinary. A spiritual healing can be assumed here.
R. B., Licensed Psychologist