I was born in Surinam in the Netherlands Antilles. During my childhood I sometimes felt totally confused, very anxious and often aggressive. I was already drinking alcohol as a child.
When I was 13 years old, I went live with my grandmother in Holland. That was in 1980. From 1986 I couldn’t live with her anymore. As a consequence, my depressive mood increased. I drank lots of alcohol and smoked 1 – 2 g of hashish per day. Soon I also took speed together with tablets (Valium, Rohypnol and Seresta), a year later also cocaine. In 1990 I developed delusions and hallucinations and ended up in a homeless shelter. In order to be able to finance the drug consumption, I burgled. An eight-month prison term left me totally apathetic and I was very close to committing suicide. In 1995 I started to smoke 2 – 3 g cocaine in the form of crack daily. In 1998 I was declared as unfit for work because of schizophrenia. During the months leading up to my introduction, I consumed 2 g cocaine, 40 – 50 ml methadone, 1 g of cannabis and 6 – 10 glasses of beer per day.
Shortly before Christmas in 1999, I was introduced to the teaching of Bruno Gröning. This started a turnaround in my life. My health improved noticeably and in December 2001 I was able to completely go without methadone and the antipsychotic medication, Orap. I also gradually reduced the dose of cocaine and was even able to get by without it for weeks. By the end of July 2002, I was able to completely stop using cocaine, hashish and alcohol without any withdrawal symptoms. Since August 2002, I have a steady job. All psychological disorders and illnesses have disappeared. I was able to pay back all my drug related debts of 7000 guilders.
At age 16, I smoked two to three joints on the weekends. About a year later, I was already using hashish and marijuana daily. I thought I would miss something if I didn’t smoke with the others. I moved into a shared flat. Then I didn’t feel like working anymore. Daily, we talked rubbish, played play-station, watched videos and smoked pot on the side. All our money was spent on drugs; from the beginning of 1998, one to two pills of ecstasy and one to two tabs of acid per night. From summer 1998, I was using speed in the mornings to wake up. If available, I also used cocaine and crack. My hashish use increased significantly to 2 g per day. I lost more and more weight, was aggressive and listless and felt as though burnt out. I saw myself as physically and psychologically dependent, but it actually didn’t interest me much.
In October 1998, I got myself introduced into the teaching of Bruno Gröning out of curiosity. I visited the community hours irregularly. Beginning of 1999, I hardly went to parties anymore; thereby the ecstasy and acid fell away. The need for loud music, lots of people and action had disappeared. Almost unnoticed, the drug use reduced itself. From summer 1999, I also downright forgot about speed and found a lovely job at the theater. On New Year’s Eve 1999, I smoked pot for the last time. Since then, I have been free from drugs once and for all. I also completely broke off contact with the old “friends”.
At 17 I smoked my first joint; with it everything seemed so easy and free. At 19, I was already smoking 10 g of cannabis per week. As well as this, I took speed and ecstasy at parties. Soon I needed speed in the mornings to be fit for work. Barely two years later, I also took one to two grams of cocaine and one gram of heroin per week.
My interest in the environment increasingly disappeared, my finances were a catastrophe, the flat was in chaos – my whole life was in disorder. Over six years, I took drugs almost daily and was psychologically dependent on them. One morning I woke up and realized for the first time after all these years that something was going wrong in my life. I called my mother and told her everything. What I did not know was that for months she had already been inwardly asking for help on the spiritual path for me.
On October 14, 2005, I was introduced into the teaching of Bruno Gröning which changed my life fundamentally. Within one month, I simply didn’t fancy drugs anymore, was happy without them and now have been free from all drugs since mid November 2005. I have completely cut off contact with my former “friends”. I had absolutely no withdrawal symptoms. My household is in order again; my bank account is always in a positive balance, and I’m paying off some credit bit by bit. My life is happier, more fulfilled. I don’t feel an inner void anymore.
At 16 I started to drink beer and to smoke cigarettes, a year after that pot, as well. That way I numbed myself when I had problems. In the end I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and drank beer and wine up to total inebriation. To pot were added cocaine and speed. In 1994, when I was suddenly unemployed, I took more and more drugs, including ecstasy and heroin. When that caused the breakup of my relationship with my girlfriend I grew indifferent to myself. From 1996 on I spent all my money on drugs. Physically I was in such a bad condition that I was not able to work anymore. I could not concentrate on anything and grew depressed
In April, 1998, I was introduced into Bruno Groening's teaching. That same month I found work again. Three months later I drank my last beer. Four weeks later I stopped smoking cigarettes and pot. I am free from drugs, once again physically totally fit and able to concentrate.
In 1986 - when I was 27 years old, I began smoking hashish. Two years later I also took LSD. I became depressed after a divorce and another separation from a woman. I turned cocaine and heroin. I grew opium, psychedelic mushrooms, Jimson weed and hemp myself. When I didn't have any heroin or cocaine I swallowed tranquillizers and stimulants (including Mandrax, Diazepam or Captagon, and Ritalin). In 1991 I felt so bad that I threw out all the drugs and went cold turkey. But still my life remained aimless and devoid of any happiness. From 1995 to 2000 I worked looking after people with severe disabilities and at the same time cared for my grandmother. I had almost no energy left for my own life. I smoked hashish again and drank regularly initially wine and then up to half a bottle of whiskey and six to seven cans of beer every night. Then, when there was a threat of losing my job because of my drug taking, I actually stopped drinking - but my will to live was totally extinguished. I oscillated between depression and aggression in the form of mindless destruction.
I learnt about the teaching of Bruno Groening through a doctor, and was introduced in May of 2000. Five days later I burnt all the drugs. Since then I have been drug free. I have no hankering for them any more. Depression and aggression belong to the past. I am now a contented and happy person.
Since the age of 14 I drank alcohol from time to time; later on stopping only at the point before becoming nauseous. At the age of 16, when my girlfriend and I had broken off our relationship and my parents had divorced, I reached for hashish and within 3 years I was using up to 3 grams daily. Half a year later our gang introduced me to Speed. On the weekends I used as much as two or three lines. I tried LSD four or five times but stopped this after my second horror-trip. In January, 1994, I started using Ecstasy at techno-parties. Eventually I used up to three tablets per night. In August of the same year I became emotionally dependent on a boy who frightened me with esoteric death predictions and threatened me. In October, 1994, I managed on my own to stop using all drugs and to break away from my background. During this time of withdrawal I became very depressed, lived in mortal fear and had a persecution complex. I considered suicide.
A friend of my mother's told me about the teaching of Bruno Groening and in December, 1994, I was introduced. Immediately I felt love, serenity and contentment. I felt liberated. Depression and fear disappeared spontaneously after the introduction. Once more I became aware of myself, could mingle with other people and realized again that there was meaning in life.
In June, 1995, as a result of the wrong friends, I had a relapse: I returned to the use of hashish and drank alcohol daily. I resigned from my work and flew to Nepal. There I smoked 5 to 10 joints per day and used the ten-times stronger "hashish" as well.
In December, 1995, I went home. Since January, 1996, I resumed taking up the healing power and managed to stop the use of hashish, alcohol and cigarettes. Since then I've had no further desire for drugs. In the middle of 1996 I enrolled in night school and simultaneously started on an apprenticeship, which I completed successfully in February, 1997. I've made myself professionally independent and in May, 2001, I got married. Today, after 9 years, I am still free of all drugs.
My father died when I was 8 years old. Because of depression and anxiety I was given tranquilizers by our family doctor. At age 13 I began to smoke marijuana, a few years later I also took stimulants. After an argument with my mother, I attempted suicide. Shortly thereafter I had my first experiences with LSD. During my training I belonged to a clique consisting of fellow nursing students who used heroin. Eventually I became dependent on heroin. At 18 years of age I got hepatitis B, quit my nurse's training, did therapy and once again had a setback with heroin. Being drug free was always a struggle I and felt I couldn't do it after just a short time. After cold turkey withdrawal when I was arrested, I switched to legal drugs at age 23. Depressive states and existential anxiety rendered me incapacitated. Increasingly I ended up being sucked into "helpful" drugs. Besides pot, speed and cocaine, I slipped more and more into the legal drug alcohol. Several withdrawal treatments at clinics did not bring any improvement at all.
In 1986 I was introduced into the teaching of Bruno Groening. At first I was very skeptical towards the entire thing; however it was an uphill battle and today I am a life affirming and healthy human being. Since 1991 I have been living free of alcohol and drugs, have done a training and 2 computer courses and have been working since 2000 in a domestic nursing home. I have been happily married since 1998.