Healing from alcohol addiction and depression

John Leiker (54), Buffalo (USA)

J. L. (54), Buffalo (USA)

Shortly after my 18th birthday (1968) I began to drink beer and schnapps. I would drink 12 to 18 beers a day from Monday to Sunday. It was normal for me at the time to come home from work, change clothes, go to my favourite hangout and stay there until three o’clock in the morning. Then I would get up at seven o’clock and go to work, always with a terrible hangover. I was working in the construction industry at the time. This happened day after day. Thus it became the pattern of my life. Today I can’t understand how I was able to survive for 35 years with such excessive alcohol consumption.

I had the desire to put an end to my life

In 1972 I married, and the relationship lasted for eight years. I can remember how I would often come home at 11:00 p.m. or later and a cold supper would be waiting for me on the table. My marriage suffered and ultimately failed because of that. I realized that I didn’t love myself anymore. My life was consumed by trouble and hopelessness and I often had the desire to put an end to it.

After separation and divorce from my wife (1982), I fell into a severe depression which overshadowed everything else in my life. The years were marked by a tormenting sadness, hopelessness and despair. I even attempted suicide by shooting up poison after a nervous breakdown. I had huge lapses of memory at the time. A second suicide attempt followed. I then remembered my children. I am a single father and only the love of my son and my daughter kept me alive. So I went on living, each day accompanied by the tormenting inner misery and the alcohol.

I requested the inner peace

In January 2004 I was introduced to the teaching of Bruno Gröning by a friend of mine. He showed me how to take in the Heilstrom and said that many healings had already occurred in this way.

When I went to bed the following night I was still filled with the bitterness of life, worry and hopelessness. That night I requested for the first time the inner peace I had known earlier. I had the feeling I had to give up all my troubles. At that time I wasn’t yet ready; I needed six months before I would be capable of letting go.

During the first two months after my introduction to the teaching of Bruno Gröning nothing happened. I didn’t take in the Heilstrom and went on living as before. The same friend invited me to the wedding of his only daughter. I didn’t go to the wedding. I drank the whole day through. Little was said about my not going to the big event but I knew that I had hurt his feelings, just as I had hurt other people in the past. The pangs of conscience and feelings of guilt that came over me got worse, and I can remember saying, "Please, God, let me die! I’ve had enough!"

The miracle happened

After that, the same friend invited me to participate in a conference of the Bruno Gröning Circle of Friends in Detroit in 2004. I didn’t actually want to go, but saw on his face his hope for me that help and healing could be granted to me in this way. I went there because of the guilt feelings, because I had stayed away from his daughter’s wedding celebration and because of our friendship. I didn’t expect anything for me there. I was at the conference for two days and left one day early. I simply didn’t believe in what I heard there.

During the conference I didn’t drink any alcohol. On Wednesday of the following week I noticed that I hadn’t drunk a single beer for five days in a row. Not only that, I also noticed that I hadn’t thought even once of drinking beer during that time. The miracle had happened, and I know of no other word to express the power of this experience.

Since that time the yearning for alcohol has been taken from me. No withdrawal symptoms have appeared. Thirty-five years of alcohol dependence came to an end within three days. It feels as if I have become a different person-and I have, too.

After the conference I began to regularly take in the Heilstrom. One morning in October of the year 2004 I was playing some video games. I perceived an enormously powerful energy climbing from my feet to my neck. At that moment I felt that something was about to happen. Unsolved issues that had tormented me for many years inwardly became completely clear to me. ; My whole being had been overwhelmed and distorted by these problems. I determined that everything has another side to it. Little by Little the burden of my entire life was taken away from me. I felt lighter than ever before, and I felt like myself again. I began to laugh aloud from out of my gut as I hadn’t done for a long time. It was a laugh that was so complete that it brought a feeling of liberation along with it. Since that time the depression has disappeared. Hopelessness and anxiety have given way to joy-joy and gratitude for being alive.

Psychologist’s comment:

The report impressively describes the chronic progression of Mr. Leiker’s illness. Due to his daily alcohol consumption (12 – 17 glasses of beer per day) the divorce from his first wife comes about. A severe depression of more than 20 years with two suicide attempts follows. His two children are keeping the single father alive.

After Mr. Leiker had consumed great quantities of beer every day for over 35 years, he came across the Bruno Gröning Circle of Friends in January 2004. The alcohol dependency as well as the depression disappears within a few months. This positive turnaround in Mr. Leiker’s life, right up to a full healing of his whole personality, counters any expectations after an alcohol dependency persisting over decades.

U. T., Psychologist

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