Healing from borderline personality disorder

A. R. (47), Wetzikon (Switzerland)

Adelheid Ruf (47), Wetzikon (Schweiz)From my childhood on I suffered from extreme terror, often accompanied by fits of screaming. At the age of 22 I took a trip to Asia, during which a fear of flying and death anxiety arose. The terror panic attacks of my childhood returned as well.

When I was 15 I began to suffer from severe depression. Sometimes I had to stay in bed in a darkened room for days. When I was 38 years old I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The lumps were surgically removed, followed by radiotherapy daily for three months. I coped with this quite well physically, but during this time my depression worsened. Nine months of therapy with a psychologist was unsuccessful. And three years spent in a psychiatric clinic where I was medicated with various medications such as lithium, anti-psychotics (Prazine, Nozinan) benzodiazepine and antidepressants (Fluktrine, Seropram, Tolvon) also brought no success.

Because of the severe depression I began drinking alcohol heavily at 16 years of age. When I was 19 my family doctor prescribed Valium for me. When the anxiety became severe I took as much as 90 mg of Valium. During my stay at the clinic I also began taking Rohypnol (several tablets at once). I obtained the Rohypnol on the black market.

Suicide attempts and a serious risk of self-harming and harming others

When I was 40 and had just completed nine months of unsuccessful therapy I attempted to take my own life with pills. I also made several suicide attempts during my stay at the clinic.

When I was an inpatient I developed a strong tendency to harm myself and others. I inflicted wounds on myself with knives, pointed objects or cigarettes. The smallest frustration would cause me to flip out, become aggressive and cause massive material damage, so that several times I had to be sedated with medication and isolated. Due to my behaviour I eventually lost all my friends.

The Heilstrom works

In the spring of 1998, while still in the clinic, I met a community leader of the Bruno Gröning Circle of Friends. Without my knowledge this woman regularly asked Bruno Gröning for my recovery, and my condition actually did improve. By July 1998 I had already recovered to such an extent that I could be discharged from the clinic and move into a supervised-living group. After I was introduced to the teaching of Bruno Gröning in September 1998 I took in the Heilstrom daily by doing einstellen and always carried a photo of Bruno Gröning with me. As time went on I felt better and better and was gradually able to stop taking all medication.The anxiety, depression, aggression and suicidal tendencies progressively disappeared. The 30-year long desire to drink beer was also taken from me. Today I no longer have to live in supervised accommodation and I work two hours a week in an aged care home. My doctor is amazed at how well I have recovered.

Medical commentary:

This case concerns a combination of illnesses: an existing emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder, accompanied by severe depressive episodes accompanied by short depressive disturbances at recurring intervals along with harmful use of Valium and Rohypnol. There was also excessive alcohol consumption and the tendency to self-harm, suicide attempts and the risk of harming others as is often seen in borderline patients. The long course of the illness, on which traditional treatment methods such as medication and sensory deprivation had little impact did not bode well; this kind of psychological situation often continues with so much violence and counter-violence that the patient commits suicide or, thanks to the many sedatives and anti-psychotics, the patient’s ability to respond spontaneously is dampened and he or she leads a life without any social integration or ability to work. This healing is very impressive and shows that recovery is possible in situations that appear hopeless.
Dr. E. S., Psychiatrist, Switzerland

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